What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
