She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
