From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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