Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
