Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i out mim tonsoeep
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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