i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
