yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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