I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
