you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
