Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
