i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
tell me about the fingering
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
