then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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