The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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