Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
