He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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