Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
