This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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