Only a mothe r could love this liver
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
