I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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