Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
