I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
