..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it glows. i had to have it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
