No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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