you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
