So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
