I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
