Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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