i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
