My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
