is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize