I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
