So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
