i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
