I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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