So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
