at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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