I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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