"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My vagina is very pro this idea
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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