I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
