In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
