Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
