Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
