how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
