I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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