We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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