oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I didn't notice because vodka
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
