Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
