I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
