How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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