is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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